The Collective Birthday

The Collective Birthday

   “There’s no dip, Ray. I’ve looked absolutely everywhere and there’s none. Absolutely none! What are we going to do?” 

   The guests weren’t due for another hour so when his wife burst through the garage door with the news, her rollers in and apron hanging loosely round her neck, announcing the absence of dip from the cupboards like it were a threat to the Declaration of Independence itself. Any notion Ray had of an impromptu jam session with his new baby – Les Paul, cherry finish – became as elusive as the dip that Jane was fretting over. His plans now replaced with the unnecessary crisis that came with planning a party, something he thought that being new parents would have allowed them to get out of. As he tucked away the guitar, he did his best to ignore the feeling of longing that came with put down the six string and feign the interest that was expected of him in matters such as this. 

   “Is there definitely none in the fridge?” he said. 

   “There’s none Ray. None in the fridge. You don’t think I thought to check there?”, she said. 

“No, its just….well it’s a big fridge. Maybe you missed it.”

“It was the first place I checked. I checked twice. There’s none. What are we going to do?”

“We could get more hysterical for a start.”

“You know you’re not funny.”

   He knew better than to wind her up when she was in this mood; her personal No Man’s Land between Jane the Human Being, his best friend, wife, and Jane The Party Host. It was just too easy. He smiled and kissed her on the cheek, trying not to think of the guitar solo he could be perfecting right now instead of the task that was being thrust upon him. 

   “I’ll go get some.”

“The shops are closing in a half hour. Do you think you’ll make it?”

She bit her lip just then in that way that made Ray go crazy, making him want to freeze the moment forever and stick it in his wallet like a polaroid picture. He gave her another kiss for good measure and pulled on his jacket. 

   “Don’t call me a hero, but I’ll get you that dip if it’s the last damn dip there is on Earth.”

She laughed and seemed to relax a little and it made it all worthwhile for Ray, no matter if he didn’t get the dip, it was good just to be able to take that weight off her shoulders. As he headed toward the door, he looked back and pointed her up and down.

   “It’s an interesting look by the way. Very New-Age.”

She smiled. “Shut up idiot, and go get the dip. Take Sally too. Has she been for a walk today yet?” 

   The air was cool and calm tonight, looking up the stars were all out in unison, like they were throwing a party of their own, making Ray feel significant and insignificant all at once. It was the last night of the year and they were throwing a Hogmanay party (a word Ray wasn’t too crazy about) for the first time as a married couple. Truth be told, he had never quite gotten the ceremony of New Year. Growing up it’d always been quite an understated affair, bringing in the bells with his parents, his brother, sister and family cat before first footing the neighbours. But Jane had seemed big on it, when they first started dating, about 5 and a half years ago now, she’d recounted tale after tale of Hogmanay party. Maybe it was being with her and Sally that had infected Ray with a sense of hope and excitement for the New Year for the first time that he could remember. He actually was looking forward to seeing Jackie Bird on his TV screen before flipping over to Jools Holland and dancing the night away with his nearest and dearest, looking forward to the coming year mainly because he had something to look forward to. 

   In truth, the year had dragged on like one big hangover and they just couldn’t seem to get a foothold on anything, any control of reality and life evading them at every turn. There was no consistency and had passed something akin to that of a torch that’s batteries were dying; light flashing in the darkness but never enough to illuminate the whole room. It had started off promising enough, with Ray’s promotion to Senior Associate at the firm and then Jane falling pregnant, it had the makings of a great year; their year. Then things went downhill fast and every victory marred with the taste of defeat. First Jane’s father, then Ray’s mother…..and then the baby. Ray had never known silence quite like it. Losing her felt like the whole world had stopped talking to watch as their own fell apart. 

   They both often stayed up late at night, especially the past week, discussing the year as painful as it was to remember. It was just trying to figure out why there had been so much good and so much bad happen at the same time. Why couldn’t it have been padded out? None of them really had an answer. Ray figured it was just luck of the draw, but Jane’s catholic upbringing forced her to look at things with a little more divinity. She figured that it was too show them that they could take on anything, no matter the hardship or heartache or the challenge, that together they could face it and come through OK. And Ray had to admit, despite his agnostic beliefs, he liked the sentiment, himself finding that the ones he considered friends became something much more, they had become family, like a posse surrounding them with love or like the crew of a ship surrounding them with a strength stronger than their metal confines. 

   The artificial light of the shop broke into his daydream, leaving it outside with the starlight and the dog as he searched for the dip. The dog had been a good idea at the time, though Ray could hardly bring himself to look at it. It was supposed to be a pram he was pushing, not the lead he was pulling. He knew Jane felt it too, because she never took her out for a walk. It wasn’t the dog’s fault. It was nobody’s, perhaps most frustrating of all. Tracking down within seconds and picked up a couple just for good measure, Ray decided to go a lap around the store and see if he could pick anything else up. Filling the basket with some goodies for Jane, and a bottle of Red for himself, he headed to the counter. The guy behind it smiled through his beard, though you could tell he didn’t want to. Ray smiled back and couldn’t shake the image that the guy looked like a pirate who’d brought dishonour onto his crew and was banished to work as a customer assistant. Destined to a life of tongue biting and day dreaming, the high seas replaced by high blood pressure and poor personal hygiene. It wasn’t until Captain Co-Op broke the silence that Ray realized he had probably been staring, wondering if the guy wished he had walked the plank instead. 

   “Having a party?” he said. His voice was gruff, just like the pirate Ray had painted him as.

   “Just a few people around yep. We had an emergency. DipCon One.”

Ray cringed at his own joke. He was born to make Dad jokes. Another painful reminder. The pirate didn’t seem to notice either the joke or Ray’s forlorn expression, instead just nodding and grumbled. “Got to keep those crisps lubricated.”

He finished packing the bag cashed up and Ray handed over the money and the pirate checked them over like buried treasure before handing Ray back his change. As Ray turned to go, Captain let out a sigh and looked out the window.

   “Funny old time of year this. Full of reflection and resolutions.” he said. Ray wasn’t sure if he was actually talking to him or the invisible parrot on his shoulder. One of the things he had hated about get the dog was that strangers would speak to him. It seemed now he didn’t even need to have the dog next to him. He responded all the same.

   “Not a fan of New Year then?”

He shook his head. “Nah. The Collective Birthday I like to call it. Just a reminder that the world is a year older and us with it. Instead of shrinking away like we do our on own birthday’s we throw a big party like it’s our first and our last.”

Ray nodded and smiled. “Well, Happy Birthday then, when it comes.”

At this, Pirate smiled and nodded. “Happy Birthday to you too.” And at that Ray left, walking out the store and leaving Captain Co-Op to dream of the high seas and hidden treasure from behind the counter.

   Walking home with Sally, the dip in hand ready to deliver, the phrase “Collective Birthday” played like a loop on his mind. He had thought it a touch morbid in the conversation, the philosophy of a depressed Customer Assistant, but in actual fact, it was kind of hopeful. Perhaps that was what the New Year really was, a collective birthday. Rather than an old year dying, it was a new one being born and with it a new hope. As he approached his house he thought of Jane and how he couldn’t wait to tell her about the pirate and wish her a Happy Birthday. Walking through the door, Sally running ahead, Jane was already in the hallway waiting for him. She was wearing a smile, one she hadn’t had in a long time and held something small in her hand too, but he couldn’t quite see it. He took the dip out of the bag and waved it at her smiling. She showed him what was in hers and smiled even harder. Running to hug her, the dip fell from his hands and spread over the ground. They laughed, all 3 of them as they watched Sally dart toward it to provide the clean up. 

This short story originally appeared in The Shadow People Won’t Take Us Alive & Other Lost Souls.