As a playwright, I have had my work featured with A Play, A Pie & A Pint, Short Attention Span Theatre, Tron Theatre, Beacon Arts Centre and The Ayr Gaiety. My play The Accidental Election was shortlisted for the VAULT Playwriting Award whilst my one-act play, Fools On A Hill, received a sold-out run at Glasgow’s Theatre 118 as Play of the Week and received positive reviews, including a 4-Star review in The Herald.
Full Length Plays
Fools On A Hill | Comedy
After God appears to one of them in a vision, two self-appointed prophets decide to take it upon themselves to start spreading the word of God again and put the world to rights the only way they know how – a good old fashioned crucifixion. A quick trip to IKEA later, and they’re ready to go. But will they go ahead with it? And if so, will they be rewarded?
Hammer ✅ Nails ✅ Flatpack Crucifix ✅
Co-Codamol ✅
What could possibly go wrong?
Monty Python's Life of Brian meets Waiting For Godot, Fools On A Hill is a hilariously blasphemous and absurd dark comedy satire about faith, following and flatpack furniture.
Past Productions:
Beacon Arts Centre (2017), Theatre 118 (2025)
The Accidental Election | Comedy
After the Prime Minister is overheard making comments live on air on election night the Government, democracy and the country is thrown into chaos. Press Secretary Sylvia Fleming is the only person from that night left standing to tell the truth. But will the country believe her?
Developed with A Play, A Pie & A Pint, The Accidental Election was was shortlisted for the VAULT Playwriting Award in 2025.
Seeking Production
The Councilmen of Kinlochbury Island
Set on the fictional isolated Scottish island of Kinlochbury, The Councilmen of Kinlochbury Island is a darkly comic satire meets absurdist farce exploring power, ideology and societal collapse. When long-standing council leader Archie Buchanan dies, his son Frank attempts to seize control, reigniting tensions that have simmered for decades. As riots engulf the island, Maggie Buchanan - Frank's sister - begins to question everything she was raised to believe. As Kinlochbury Island descends into chaos, Maggie meets Taylor McIntyre, a hidden survivor of the island's oppressive laws, and together they must decide whether to fight, flee or succumb to the island's dangerous traditions.
Seeking Production
Conversations By The Clyde | Comedy/Drama
Spanning 50 years of friendship, Conversations by the Clyde sees two friends meet at their favourite spot along the Clyde to talk about everything, nothing and all the moments in between. From family, friends, love, life, death and football.
The world changes but the important things still the same; the people you surround yourself with to keep your own world spinning.
Seeking Production
The Whistleblowers | Drama
After the death of their friend, an independent team of investigators, Fable, uncover a conspiracy at a national news organisation.
In Development
The Shadow People Won’t Take Us Alive
She saves him everyday, he needs to save her just once…but can he?
Captain Humphrey Willis isn’t a regular hero, not with a name like that, but today he needs to be. When the mysterious shadow people take the love of his life hostage, Captain Willis must sail alone into their world of darkness, strangeness and things unseen in order to save her and get their life back.
Performed at Wee Theatres Glasgow, November 2020
Part of storytelling anthology podcast, The Lost Souls Broadcast.
Fools On A Hill
Starring Euan Cuthbertson (One Thinks Of It All As A Dream), Stephanie Falls (The Real Glesga Dance Mums) & Kirsty Strain (Burnistoun)
After God appears to one of them in a vision, complete with Kelburn disco lighting, two Christians take it upon themselves to start spreading the word of God again and put the world to rights the only way they know how – a good old fashioned crucifixion. A quick trip to IKEA later, and they’re ready to go. But will they go ahead with it? And if so, will they be rewarded?
Hammer. Nails. Flatpack Cross. Kelburn Discos & Co-Codamol. This is bound to end well.
The Vultures
Mary and June are The Vultures. A pair of wedding, christening and birthday party crashers who fancy themselves as Scotland’s answer to Thelma and Louise, but with greyer hair. However, when they decide to crash a wake in a bid for some ‘Scran’, they’re forced to have a look at their own mortality and question how they choose to spend the remainder of their time.
Productions:
Toasted Fiction Theatre: Series One (Performed By Karen Bartke & Kirsty Strain Recorded Live at The Beacon Arts Centre on the 7th of July 2016)
Wee Theatres Glasgow, September 2016
Ratins’
The Mackenzie’s are living the high life as Scotland’s most famous reality TV family with their show, Keepin’ Up Wae The Mackenzie’s taking the top spot every year. However, when the show takes a big dip in ratings the producers put into a place a desperate plan to get them back on top…… All it’ll take is a little bit of convincing, and a designer vagina or two. Ye cannae choose you’re family…..but ye can choose what channel yer oan. If The Broons met The Kardashians, it would be a little something like this.
Written, Produced and Directed by Christopher Patrick
Performed by: Charlie Graham, Cameron McGarva, Kirsty Strain, Hazel Ann Crawford, Colin Little & Megan Hair Sound Recorded By: Keiran Lowrie Tech: Ian Swinscoe Recorded live on the 29th September 2016 at the Beacon Arts Centre, Greenock. Series 1 of Toasted Fiction Theatre is supported by Inverclyde Placed Partnership, Beacon Arts Centre & Emerge
The Pact
With the old world gone in a storm of wind and rain, Jake and his little sister Jane have been wandering from place to place, just trying to find permanent shelter and stay alive. When they come across a seemingly abandoned barn, they take refuge for the night, thinking they’ve won the lottery.
But when the sun comes up, they find they’re not alone and old mistakes soon come back to haunt them, forcing them to remember the deadly pact they once made.
The end of the world does strange things to a man. Such strange things
Full Stop
When Jake loses his wife he does what all grieving husbands would do. Buys cheap whiskey and hides in his attic from the in-laws. Will his sister and best friend be able to convince him to come down? And will they have to put up with his wife's family for much longer? The only thing worse than death is dealing with the family in the aftermath. Thankfully, attics were built for hiding.
Written, Directed and Produced by Christopher Patrick Performed by Colin Little, Hazel Ann Crawford, Kirsty Strain & Charlie Graham.
Also performed as part of the Tron Theatre’s Progressive Playwright in 2013 and Wee Theatres Glasgow in 2015.