Exclusive Sneak Peek at Keepin' Up Wae Mackenzies!
Hey reader! Thanks for stopping by the site. Here is an exclusive sneak peek at my upcoming book, Keeping’ Up Wae The Mackenzies!, a comedy about Scotland’s answer to The Kardashians.
Check it out on Amazon for pre-order or keep an eye here for updates!
Enjoy, take care and thanks for the support
Cx
Pre-Order on Amazon Here
INT. REALITY BITES PRODUCTION OFFICE - DAY
The Reality Bites Production Office is bustling. Nervous chatter fill the room, as the staff take their seats at the conference-room style table. Jo Levine rushes into the room, taking a seat next to Samuel Gerrard.
“Has it started yet?” asked Jo, panting for breath.
“Not yet, darling. Sarah’s just doing her pre-meeting routine,” Samuel drawled.
Jo looked out of the conference room, to find their boss, Sarah staring in at them all. She pointed at her staff then performed the “slit throat” gesture, walking up and down.
“This is new,” Jo said, raising an eyebrow.
Samuel nodded. “Mm-hm. HR said she wasn’t allowed to use one of us as a prop anymore. So, this is her new thing.”
“Any idea what this meeting is—” but Jo was interrupted as Sarah entered.
She dragged a toy plastic slide in behind her, which gets stuck in the door. She pulls at it, frantically.
“What the fuck is she doing?” asked Jo.
“I never know anymore and I’ve stopped asking unless I have a drink in my hand.”
Sarah eventually gets it free, stumbling into the room. Regaining her balance, she then takes the pastries from the centre of the table and then, without explanation, drops them on the slide and lets them make their way to the bottom.
“What does this represent?”, Sarah exclaimed.
A hand shoots up.
“Losing weight.” It was Ben.
“WRONG. Who else?” shouted Sarah.
Nobody else was brave enough. Yet. Except of course, Ben.
“Putting on weight?”
“NO. It’s got nothing to do with weight. Anybody?”
She runs out of pastries. Looks around, doesn’t find a suitable replacement, so points at Ben.
“Ben, come here a second. I need you.”
Ben stands.
“Get on the slide,” she demanded.
“Eh, I don’t think that’s designed for an adult Sarah.”
Sarah blinked. “Get on the slide.:
Ben fidgeted nervously. “I really—”
“SLIDE!”
Ben reluctantly and carefully starts to climb the slide. Gingerly, Ben starts to sit on it when--
--CRACK. The slide collapses, Ben with it. The room gasps, Sarah smiles.
“Perfect, good representation Ben. What does that represent?”
Jo, more in an effort to stop this, threw her hat in. “Health & Safety?”
“No.”
Samuel raised his hand. “Workplace bullying?”
Sarah shook her head and signed before screaming. “RATINGS!”
Samuel slumped in his seat. “Aw Christ.”
Sarah, triumphant, starts to march around the room. “That’s right people. Ratings. The ratings for our shows on our channel are slipping. Reality Bites used to be the pinnacle of reality TV! But no more. We’re bottom of the pile. So come on, what’s the plan? How do we improve viewer ratings? How do we get out audiences back?”
A whimper from somewhere on the floor. “Can someone help me?”
Sarah clicked her fingers. “Yes, Ben. Good idea, but those ideas have been done to death.”
Jo glanced around nervously, mumbling under her breath. “We could always diversify.”
Sarah stopped, behind Jo. “What’s that Jo? Speak up.”
Jo cleared her throat and sat up straighter in her chair. “Eh, oh, I just was saying we could diversify.”
“Go on.”
“I just think, if you look at our network, it’s all straight white men and women. We might see people search out our channel if we start representing more than that. We could look at the LGBTQ+ for a start.”
Samuel nodded. “Like RuPaul. Can we get RuPaul?”
Jo shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
Sarah clapped her hands. “I like this, but sadly we aren’t in a position to commission a slate of new shows. We need to work with what we’ve already invested in.”
Samuel shrugged. “Pity we can’t just use the folk we have already.”
Sarah took a sharp intake of breath. “Now there’s an idea.”
Jo looked at Sarah, confused. “Sorry what?”
“That’s exactly what we’ll do. And I know just the show we can try it on. Get your cases packed, you’re heading to Scotland.”