Rejected Jokes: yesterday’s news, today

Photo by Bruno Bučar on Unsplash

Hello!

For the past wee while, I’ve been writing and submitting jokes for a comedy show covering news headlines.. Haven’t yet made the cut, it’s possibly one of the difficult of writing styles I’ve attempted, those who an do it are immensely skilled, but some of the jokes still make me giggle.

So, here’s a semi regular segment that I’ll start posting - Rejected Jokes: Last Week In The News.

Any jokes that I’ve written for different opportunities or shows that don’t make the cut, I’ll post them on here.

Might give you a giggle. Might make you groan.

Sometimes the best ones make you do both.

Enjoy

Cx

Photo by Marija Zaric on Unsplash

Yesterday’s News, Today

A concerned animal lover told Edinburgh Zoo she’s spotted a fallen penguin on their live stream, but it turned out to be a rock. Apparently she wrote to make sure they p-p-p-p-p-picked up the penguin. 

Baby Boomers now have their own radio station offering nostalgic tunes from the golden era of pop. Baby boomers are excited to tune into the new DAB station, just as soon as they find out what a DAB station is.

Sir Andy Murray has mocked his Mum’s cooking skills – after she praised ready made dinners online. In other words, he had no love for his Mum’s cooking and took fault in what she served. Sorry.

A couple who got hitched during lockdown told how their only wedding breakfast guest was a pet rabbit. Later that day, they were joined by a hare, a dormouse, a woman named Alice and the Mad Hatter.

A priest in the Republic of Ireland has made takeaway ashes available for parishioners to administer at home on Ash Wednesday. Fr Brian Brady teamed up with a shop in Clomany, County Donegal to provide holy ashes in sauce containers. Did somebody say Just Pray?